I've come to realize that my body is unique and amazing! I just love my body! My curves.... everything!

Tags: body by victoria, love my body, victoria’s secret, writer's block

Title: Lost's Story
Author: me. virae_materson
Pairing: Patrick/Pete/Spencer/Mikey Way
Rating: R/NC-17?
Warnings: Boysecks. Duh.
Disclaimer: These boys own themselves. And this happened and I have the videotape to prove it  did not happen, nor will it ever.
A/N: Written for Lost. On Horseland. Yes, I love her. This entire story sprang from an on-going conversation with her about what? Avatars, I think and then her owning Bob and me owning Mikey then. And locking him in the closet with people (like Pete). I said Pete and she said no. Spencer. So then it turned into this. Except without the closet. And with Patrick instead. Enjoy.

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Mikey Way clambored onto Panic!'s tour bus.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, looking over the magazine he was reading.

Mikey shrugged. "Gee and Frankie are going at it."

Spencer pulled his earbuds out of his ears. "So? Ryan and Brendon are having sex too."

And now that he took the time to listen, he could hear the moans coming from the back of the bus.

"Damn." Mikey said, pulling a face. Spencer nodded in agreement.

"Let's go raid Pete's bus then." Mikey suggested.

"Kay." Spencer put down his magazine and iPod and followed Mikey off the bus.



When Spencer and Mikey barge onto Fall Out Boy's bus they spot Pete and Patrick engaged in a round of Guitar Hero 2 and from the look on Pete's face, Patrick is winning.

"Hey guys." Spencer greets them.

"Just so y'know, Joe and Andy are having a fuckfest today." Pete deadpans.

"God! Is everyone going at it then?!" Mikey sighs, frustrated.

"I guess so." Pete says, shrugging. 

"God." Mikey says again, sighing and slumping down onto the couch.

"Hey, why so glum Mikes?" Pete asks, having lost the match with Patrick, he sets down his guitar and moves over to sit with Mikey on the couch.

Patrick grins at Spencer and Spencer just smiles back.

"Ah, nothing. Just, God. Y'know?" Mikey says, looking up at Pete who has somehow managed to situate himself on Mikey's lap so that Mikey doesn't even have the heart to push him off.

Pete nods, fingers idly twisting the hair at the back of Mikey's neck, making Mikey's eyes fall shut.

"Just. Gee and Frankie. And even Ray and Bob. I mean. God, not like I'm back there fucking someone after every show. It gets annoying."

"When you're not getting laid." Pete finishes for him.

Mikey's eyes fly open and he opens his mouth to protest but Pete shuts him up before he even begins by pressing his mouth to Mikey's and working it into a gentle kiss. Mikey's so stunned he doesn't even think before kissing him back.

Patrick and Spencer just grin because they already knew where this was going and if he stopped to think about it, Mikey might've known where this was going the moment he stepped onto Panic!'s tour bus.

That didn't matter right now though because suddenly there were more hands touching him and someone, maybe Patrick had unbuttoned his pants and now there was a hand around his cock, palming, massaging, hardening.

"God!" he gasped out before he was moved off the couch and onto the floor.

Somehow he took in the scene before him. Spencer was not shirtless and Patrick hatless. Pete was almost completely naked except for his boxers and really? How the hell do you do that in that time span? Pete is the worlds fastest stripper. Seriously.

Then Pete traded places with Spencer and Spencer was straddling him, grinding down into him and pressing soft kisses onto Mikey's jaw and God did Spencer have soft, wet lips, not at all like Pete's chapped ones.

Patrick grinned and Pete undressed him next, and soon all four boys had discarded their clothing. Mikey's pretty sure each one of them took off some part of his clothes and really, he wouldn't mind that except for ohmygodwhatthehellhowdidthishappeniveneverdonethisbefore, Why is this happening?!

"Hey, you alright Mikes?" Patrick breathes into his ear, while stroking his hair and his chest and any other part of Mikey's body he can reach.

Pete and Spencer are busy making out with each other and while they're doing that Spencer is rutting against Mikey, still straddling him and Mikey can't help but moan before he replies back "Uh, y-yeah we, we're like, gonna use, protection r-right? Gee would be pissed if-"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Patrick says absent-mindedly as he points to the drawer beside Mikey's head, since, y'know, they're on the floor and all.

"Oh-okay." Mikey says and Patrick reaches into the drawer and produces lube and condoms and throws two at Spencer and Pete before handing one to Mikey and then pulling on one himself.

As Mikey slips the condom on he wonders briefly if this is like, something that's totally fucking normal for them to do. Like, drag peopel back to their bus and fuck them senseless. Okay, maybe he wasn't dragged here but still he wasn't expecting- "Oh God Spence, do that again." he said without realizing it.

Spencer smiles and rolls his hips again, grinding their erections together. "Shit." Mikey curses and Pete grins. 

"What-the-fuck-ever. Come on. Hurry up. Sex now." Pete commands.

Patrick giggles and complies with Pete's wishes. Except that he lets Spencer do that.

Spencer stretches Pete quickly but not hurriedly. This seems more like a friendly thing than anything else and when Pete tells him once more to hurry it the fuck up Spencer does as he is told and enters Pete roughly, elicting a sharp moan from the back of Pete's throat.

Pete takes another moment to gather himself before he rolls himself back onto Spencer's cock and in turn, with their switched positions, grinds against Mikey's hard-on.

"God, fuck! Just, fuck me!" Mikey yells, bucking his hips so he can feel the friction between his and Pete's cocks. 

"Gettin' there." Patrick tells him in a rough voice, dripping with arousal as he slicks up his fingers and slips one into Mikey's ass.

Mikey gasps but after a few seconds he grinds back against the pressure, murmuring "More."

Patrick enters two other fingers and scissors Mikey, ignoring Mikey's attempts to fuck himself on his fingers. "Hold on." Patrick tells him when Mikey whines, low in his throat, when Patrick removes his fingers.

Patrick flips Mikey over and lines himself up with his entrance before pushing in slowly, Mikey moans and pushes back against Patrick's cock.

Pete takes this moment to moan and slam his face into Mikey's, kissing him harshly as Spencer fucks him and causing Mikey to gasp and pull back away from Pete, consequently, slamming himself back onto Patrick cock and to groan in pure pleasure. 

Patrick just grunts and starts fucking Mikey, his eyes concentrated on Spencer's sweaty features and how orgasmic Pete's face looks when he's frowning so hard.

Spencer giggles right in the middle of fucking Pete into the ground and Pete frowns harder. "What the fuck is so damn funny?" he asks right before he moans "Spence, godfuck." 

Spencer moans too and then says low in Pete's ear. "Mikey's face. He looks so funny when he's having sex."

Pete looks over and then giggles to. "God, just fuck me already, alright?" Pete retorts and Spencer complies, quickening his but at the last minute he pulls out altogether.

"What the fuck Smith?" Pete demands, and with the loss of contact, he's already starting jerking himself off.

"Wanna fuck Mikey." he says, doing his best bitch!face.

"Hey Mikes. Spence is gonna fuck you now." Patrick tells him before he pulls out.

Mikey makes a low groan in the back of his throat, sort of mad that no one is fucking touching him now but nods anyway. Spencer takes Patrick's place quickly and soon Mikey can't remember why he was mad at Patrick in the first place.

Patrick moves over to Pete and rips off Pete's condom, which so far as gone unused anyway. Then he gets on his knees and takes Pete's cock into his mouth, all the way down to the base.

Pete moans "God 'trick. You always give the best blowjobs."

Patrick tries not to smile as he begins to bob his head, focusing on the head of Pete's cock, enjoying the salty taste of precum, swirling his tongue and sucking just the slightest bit.

Pete bucks his hips forward and cums in Patrick's mouth and Patrick swallows him down.

Pete pulls him in for a kiss afterwards and licks his lips when he's done.

"You're fucking wierd." Patrick tells him.

"I like the taste of my cum."

"I know. Now give me head, bitch." Oh, Patrick's moody when he's horny. But Pete just drops to his knees and returns the favor.

Spencer fucks Mikey until Mikey flips them over and pulls himself off of Spencer's cock. 

Spencer looks slightly bitchy for a moment before Mikey spread Spencer's ass apart and plunges himself into Spencer.

Spencer moans and "Shit Mikey, just, go!" And Mikey fucks Spencer hard until Spencer comes with a cry, sending Mikey over as he cums too.

Then they lay panting on the floor of the dirty tour bus.

"God you guys are wierd." Mikey tells them, not even attempting to move.

"Yeah. But. I mean, you love it. We all just got laid. So. Y'know, you're happy." Pete tells him, shrugging as he lays on top of Patrick, playing with his hair.

Mikey nods. "Guess so." he says and Spencer crawls up next to him and laces their fingers together, placing light kisses along Mikey's jaw line.

"Let's do this again sometime." Spencer whispers into his ear and all Mikey can do is nod.

Tags: boysecks, lost's story, one-shot
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: cobra starship- my moves are white (white hot that is)

Title:  Candle Swans and Wax Ponds[Standalone]
Author: virae_materson
Rating: Pg-13
Paring: Rydon
POV: Third
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story but I wish it would happen xP
Summary: An odd summers day where Brendon learns that reality isn't as real as he thinks it is.
Notes: Concrit is welcomed and highly appreciated xP
Word Count; 750+  (Un-beta'd)


"Hey Bren..." Ryan says, dreamily, eyes glued to the sky.

"Yeah Ry?" Brendon asks, tearing his eyes away from the clouds floating in the perfectly blue sky on this perfect summer day to look at the boy he loved so much.

"Do you think we'll make it?" His eyes meet Brendon's, wanting reassurance.

Maybe it's the summer haze and the fact that they just graduated from high school but Brendon nods. "Of course we will Ry." he tells him, his voice full of reassurance.

It must be the summer haze because Ryan believes him and doesn't argue. He just turns his head back to the sky.

He looks out over the pond and sits up suddenly, scaring Brendon and causing him to jump too. "Do you see that Brendon?" Ryan asks sharply, eyes locked on the pond.

"See what?" Brendon asks, scanning the pond. "It's just the pond, same as al- oh." Brendon says, eyes widening. He nods slowly, in disbelief.

Ryan nods excitedly. "You see it don't you, see them?" he adds as he gets up and takes off running towards the pond.

"Ryan! Wait! Come back!" Brendon yells but Ryan is already half way to the pond and Brendon is running to catch up.

Ryan is on his knees, kneeling by the edge of the pond. His eyes are wide and curious and one hand is held out to a... candle? What the fuck?

"Ryan!" Brendon exclaims and pulls him back away from the pond.

"Brendon! Stop! You scared it!" Ryan says, shaking out of Brendon's grasp.

"Ryan, you don't even know what the fuck that thing is."

"It's a swan." Ryan says simply, trying to coax the swan.. candle... thingy, back to him again. It was then that Brendon realized that the pond wasn't made of water, like it had been a few seconds ago, but of candle wax and that these little candle swan things were floating all over it.

Brendon stared in shock. It must be the summer heat. He was hallucinating. Yeah, that had to be it.

But then Ryan touched one. Grabbed it and held it in his hands, whispering soft, comforting words to it.

He then proceeded to stick the candle swan into Brendon's face and Brendon proceeded to scream and stumble backwards, falling onto the soft grass.

The candle swan hopped out of Ryan's hands and back into the wax pond.

A curious light appeared in Ryan's eyes. "Let's go for a swim Brendon."

And before Brendon could protest, Ryan had pulled him into the pond, clothes and all.

XX

Brendon thought he was going to drown. But... he didn't even feel wet. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath, suprisingly, he could breath.

His eyes adjusted to the sparkling glow all around him and he sucked in a breath as he saw Ryan, bathed from head to foot into the sparkling light. He had removed his shirt and shoes, leaving him in only his dark skinny jeans. He hair floated above his head, as if he were in water. 

He looked like an angel.

"Isn't this amazing Brendon?" Ryan asked him, grinning.

Brendon was past denial, Ryan made him forget all about it. He simply nodded his agreement. "It's amazing." he agreed, breathless, eyes still fixated on Ryan's pale, sparkling form.

"C'mon Brendon, kiss me." Ryan said, swimming closer to Brendon.

"Mhmm..kay." Brendon said as he locked lips with Ryan.

Ryan broke the kiss to pull Brendon's shirt up over his head, leaving Brendon shirtless. His other clothes followed. Soon, they were both naked, bodies sparkling in the strange wax, kissing, touching, provoking.

And Ryan was making love to Brendon, sweet, like a dream.

Their are slick, as if they are wet as Ryan thrusts into Brendon repeatedly until he cums, Brendon's name musical on his lips, Brendon cumming not long after, and it's the greatest high he's ever experienced.

Then Ryan is pulling him to the surface and onto the grass and they break the water, gasping.

Once Brendon is on dry land, suddenly fully clothed, converse-clad feet dangling in the water, he realizes it's just that, it's water.

Ryan laughs and smiles and clings to Brendon. "Wasn't that fun Brendon?" he asks.

And Brendon can only nod, his mind full of confusion. because he isn't sure that what just happened was real. The pond is water... not wax and... it must be the summer haze because he was sure Ryan just made love to him in a wax pond full of glowing candle swans.

~End~

Tags: candle swans and wax ponds, panic! at the disco, pretty. odd., rydon
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Behind the Sea - Panic! at the Disco

Title:  Sleeping Through All Our Memories [Standalone]
Author: virae_materson
Rating: Pg-13
Paring: Petetrick
POV: Third
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people in this story (I don't even know them) xD This was written only for my entertainment. The title is from Of All The Gin Joints in the World - FOB.
Summary: Do you want me to give away the whole damn story? Well... Patrick has somewhat lost his mind and not in a good way. WARNING; It is sad. Atleast, it made me cry.
Word Count; 2000+  (Un-beta'd)



He opens his eyes and looks around, the light coming in from the windows almost blinding him. 'Where am I? I'm pretty sure I've never been here before...' The time black outs were getting steadily worse. But he couldn't tell the guys yet. Couldn't tell Pete yet.

He pulled out his phone, where ever he was it was going on three in the afternoon. He had about a million text messages from Pete, Dirty, Joe, Andy and various other peoples. He suddenly felt sick and ran to the bathroom. This always happens after his memory black outs. He went back to the bed and sat down for a minute. Atleast he

knew he was in a hotel. He opened his phone and sent Pete and the rest of the guys a message. 'I'm fine, fell asleep.' In reality though, he had no clue how long he had been 'out'. He knew it was a lot like sleep walking, he was up and moving around, doing things but not really conscience. He couldn't remember what he had done when he actually 'woke up.'

His phone beeped and he opened it up, it was a text message from Pete. 'Dude, not for a day and a half trick.'

Patrick swallowed. A day and a half? He'd never been out that long before. The thought scared him. He felt sick again all of a sudden and ran back to the bathroom. After he puked again he let his body rest on the cool tile. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift until his only thought was of the tile and how cool it felt on his flushed face.

Unbidden thoughts invade his mind then. 'What happened in the last day and a half?', 'Did I hurt anybody?', 'I hope I didn't do anything stupid.', 'Why is this happening to me?' he groans, his head pounding now, he wants to shut off his thoughts, his brain, make all of this just go away.

**

He opens his eyes a few minutes later to the beeping of his phone. Pete again. It simply says 'trick?' and Patrick sighs and texts back. 'yeah pete, we all need to talk. now. meet you in a few.'

'trick whats up?' and he can almost hear the concern in his best friends voice.

'tell you when i get there.' he texts back and closes his phone. "Yeah, after I figure out where I am." he says, getting up and heading out of the hotel room, going down to the front desk. "Where am I?" he asks the woman at the front desk and she looks at him oddly.

"Your in a hotel."

"Obviously. Where?"

"Oh, in Chicago."

"Your not helping at all." he tells her and promptly exits the hotel. He walks down the street a little way before realizing that he isn't that far from Pete's house, so he continues walking.

**

When he gets to Pete's everyone else is already there in Pete's living room, sitting on the couch with out the t.v. on. They stare at him like he's different somehow like maybe something's wrong. And it is wrong. So wrong. No one talks for a few minutes and then Joe bursts out "Well, what's wrong 'trick?" the suddeness of his outburst makes everyone else jump and he mutters "Sorry."

"'trick what's wrong?" pete asks quietly, concern etched on his face and woven into his voice.

"I've been having these... these black outs. Memory black outs. I mean, it's like sleep walking, like... I can't remember anything I've done when I wake up, even if I wasn't... uh, sleeping."

"What?" Pete asks, staring at Patrick.

"How long has this been happening?" Andy asks.

"I don't know, two or three months. But first it was just a few minutes at a time but now..."

"It's getting worse." Andy finished.

"I don't really understand all this but you have to see a doctor." Pete says, already up and moving towards Patrick.

"Pete, don't you think I've been to doctors? They don't know what's wrong with me. All tests come back normal."

"Well this isn't normal."

"Well no shit!"

Pete looks sort of bewildered and goes and sits back down on the couch "What's going to happen 'trick?"

"I- I don't know." The room lapses into an uneasy, contemplative silence.

"I-" but Pete seems at a loss for words so he just gets up and heads back to his room, slamming the door and locking himself in.

Patrick closes his eyes. "You guys should go, I'm gonna stay here."

"But-" Joe starts but Andy nods and grabs Joe and soon Patrick hears the front door fall shut. The quiet of the room grows until it is no longer quiet but a defeaning roar in his ears.

Eventually he gets up and walks back along the hallway to Pete's door. "Pete? The guys left. Can I- can I come in?"

"Yeah." shuffling, a thud, a curse and then a soft click and the door is open, Pete lloking at Patrick from the other side of the half open door. His guyliner is running down his cheeks and Patrick reaches up to wipe it off. As his hand touches Pete's face Pete closes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh. Then Patrick pushes the door open the rest of the way and steps around the things on the floor to get to Pete's bed.

Pete's laptop is open on the bed and he has some music sight up and three IM windows, one with Brendon, one with Ryan and one with William. Patrick looks back up at Pete who's scuffing his shoe into the carpet.

They've never really mentioned to anyone that they're together. Of course they are, and Andy and Joe know, since they live together half the year on tour. But they've never really labeled it. But both of them know how the other one feels. They try not to let on too much to the public eye. They knew their fans had wild, or in some cases, not so wild imaginations. But this stuff happens to all bands right? If you go on livejournal and search for bands half the sites are for slash. None of it's true though, as far as the writers of said slash know.

Patrick sighs and Pete looks over at him. "What are we gonna do about us 'trick?" Pete asks, head down, staring at the floor.

Patrick waits awhile before answering. "I don't know. I don't know... what I actually do during these black outs, what I'm like. We'll have to- we'll have to see. Okay?"

"Okay." and it's barely a whisper and Patrick closes his eyes once more as he feels Pete slip into his arms, the bed sinking down slightly from the other boy's body weight and he thinks 'Why to me? Why... to Pete?'

****

The first time Patrick blacks out with Pete and the others is when they're practicing. He just stops singing, getting this far away look in his eyes. Later after he 'wakes up' Andy tells him that he looked at Pete, told him that he loved him and then just walked out. They followed him to a Starbuck's where he had ordered some coffee and was sitting down at one of the booth's, idly chatting with some scene kid who recognized him as the singer from Fall Out Boy. Patrick had told the kid he didn't know what he was talking about and when the others came to get him Pete told the kid that Patrick was just playing around.

Then they took Patrick back to Pete's house and waited for two hours, watching t.v. through Patrick's babbling that hey had kidnapped him and that he was going to call the cops. Except he didn't know where he was or WHO he was for that matter and the cops might think he was crazy. Then suddenly he seemed to recognize Pete and the rest of them and a confused expression came across his face. He didn't remember coming back from practice.

"Well, you don't kill people atleast. Or rob banks." Joe says, to Patrick's utter confusion.

"What? Oh." realization flickered across his face.

"Yeah, you told Pete you loved him. Then you went and had coffee with one of our fans. You told him you didn't know what he was talking about though. About you being the singer of Fall Out Boy and all." Andy says.

"How long?"

"Three hours." Andy tells him and Patrick sort of closes his eyes.

****

That night Patrick climbs into Pete's bed. It didn't suprise him that Pete was still awake. It didn't suprise Pete that Patrick had just crawled into his bed. usually it was just the other way around.

They lay there for awhile, quiet, each thinking of the other, of the one lying next to him.

"Pete, I'm scared." It's said suddenly, cutting through the quiet.

"I- I know 'trick. I am too. I'm scared for you."

"What happens if I black out and don't come back? I don't want to forget about you Pete." he huddles closer into Pete and Pete's arms go around him instinctively.

Pete wants to tell him that it won't happen. That it wouldn't happen to him because it just can't. But he doesn't know that so he stays quiet. Patrick lets out and angry, exasperated sigh and Pete flinches, though his knows the sound wasn't made for him. The room grows quiet again after a few minutes and then Pete can hear Patrick's slow, even breaths. He wants everything to go back to normal.

****

But it doesn't go back to normal. It gets worse. They have to cancel interview after interview. Show after show. The press is having a field day, making up reasons why they are taking all this time off. None of them come close to the real reason behind it all.

****

Pete wants to turn back time. Patrick isn't Patrick for weeks at a time now. Each time the black out Patrick has to re-learn who he is and who the people areound him are and when he becomes Patrick again, he seems utterly lost and confused. Pete's heart aches. He feels numb. He wants it to end.

They go to doctor after doctor. Not one of them can explain what's happening to Pete's best friend and lover.

****

This is... this is getting out of hand. It's tearing you apart." Patrick says one day, when he's really Patrick.

"It's not like you can change whats happening."

"I'm sorry Pete, I-"

"Don't fucking apologize Patrick! It's not your god damn fault!" and he's crying, shaking his head and crying. Everything has gone straight down the drain since this started. Their career, their friendships, their lives, everything. Pete feels empty, hollow, numb. He's grown deathly pale and unnatually thin and ragged looking, not that Patrick doesn't look the same, have the same drawn look to his face, the dullness in his eyes.

And Patrick just drops his gaze to the floor. For him, in his mind, his conscience mind, it's only been around three weeks, atleast, that's all he remembers. In reality it's been almost a year. And he would give ANYTHING to stop all this. To go back to the way it was. And now he's crying too.

They move towards each other and get wrapped up in each other's arms, fall to the floor together, sobbing. And there are no words as they fumble with each other's clothes, as Pete moans and writhes under Patrick as they fuck. When they fall asleep in each other's arms. And in the morning when they wake up and Pete hears Patrick's "Oh my god, where am I? What happened last night?" confused and disgruntled he tries not to just break, to crumble away into a million peices of tiny bits. Like broken glass.

He feels hollow but he starts to talk anyway, for Patrick's sake. But his voice sounds empty, even to him as he tells Patrick who he is, why he's here and when Patrick looks at him like he's crazy; he's seen that look so many times in the last year, he tries to forget that this is how it's always going to be and he moves away numbly to get Patrick's clothes for him. He wished he could stay numb, stay numb until the day when Patrick would ocme back to him for good. When things would go back to normal.

But that day will never come. And he'll always feel elation when Patrick comes back for a day or two, to share with him. And he will always feel that sharp ache when he wakes up and Patrick is no longer Patrick. And he will always love Patrick.

Tags: memory loss, petetrick, sleeping through all our memories
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: none :O

Title:  When The World is Crashing Down [Standalone]
Author: virae_materson
Rating: Pg-13 - R (I don't know)
Paring: Pete/Patrick, Pete/Spencer
POV: Third
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people in this story (I don't even know them) xD This was written only for my entertainment. (the title is from an FOB song, 7 minutes in heaven, I'm prety sure.)
Summary: Pete breaks Patrick's heart, Joe feels like killing Pete. It's my first attempt at actually writing a slash and it's un-beta'd so con-crit is by all means welcomed.
Word Count; 2,000+

 

"You left me for- for Spencer?" the words slip from Patrick's devastated mouth before he can really stop them. Pete hadn't called in about a week and a half. And this was why? Patrick's legs felt weak and his hands gripped the edge of the kitchen table until his knuckles turned white from the effort.

Pete looks guilty and, really, he should. I mean, they'd been together for two years already. And NOW Pete decides that it isn't working out? I mean what the hell? He's standing on the other side of the table, hood pulled up over his head, hair obscuring what little of his shadowed face you could see. His hands were in the front pocket of his hoodie.

"Trick it's not like that- it's not like I-" Pete is struggling for words and Patrick can see this. They had been together for so long, Pete thinks, I mean god, it's been two years already. He knows Spencer is waiting outside and he looks anxiously out the window, Patrick catches this motion and stiffens.

"Pete, it is like that. What is it Pete? Are you bored or what? And when you get bored of Spencer, what then, your going to break his heart?" and his voice cracks and he's staring at Pete sort of desperately, like wondering how this could happen or if it's real.

Pete's heart sort of crumbles at this. He know's he's fucking breaking Patrick. he suddenly wonders if he could take it all back. Rewind the past two months with Spencer. All the nights alone in each other's arms after fucking, running his hands through Spencer's beautiful hair and watch his eyes drift downward as he fell asleep. But he know's he can't do that. Can't even come close. He just broke Patrick's fucking heart.

 

As he steps out into the sunshine he see's Spencer standing by his car. Pete swallows hard, since he know's Spencer's watching his every move. And he can't fucking cry. He thought he wanted this. Him and Spencer. But Him and Patrick seemed so much better right now. He nods, getting into the passenger's side, staring straight ahead. Spencer walks around the car and slips into the driver's seat. They sit there for a moment.

"Are you alright?" Spencer asks, lacing their fingers together.

Pete wants to pull away and say "Fuck no I'm not alright. I just broke Patrick- my best friends- heart! 'because of you.'" but he can't say that. It's not Spencer's fault anyway. And then Spencer would just feel bad and Pete didn't want that either. So he said "I've fucking been better." and Spencer just stiffens for a minute, nods and unlacing their fingers, puts the cart in gear and they speed towards Spencer's apartment.

 

"I'm going to kick his ass!" Joe said and Patrick sighed, this conversation was not going well. Patrick had jumped when the phone rang, he had still been clutching the table, Pete had barely left and the chock hadn't even had time to fade.

"Hello?" Patrick asked into the phone, voice shaking.

"Trick? What's up?" Joe had asked and when Patrick replied "Pete." Joe swore and replied "I'm going to kick his ass!" and so here they were.

Next he heard "Andy, come on, we'll see you in a minute Trick." and he didn't have time to reply before he heard the 'click' which meant Joe had hung up.

He sat down in the kitchen chair and waited. Andy's the first through the door. "Trick?" he asked into the house, cautiously, before spotting him on the kitchen chair, tear-stained face, red-swollen eyes, hair and hat disheveled and in all honesty- he looked like a heartbroken puppy who had been forgotten outside in the rain one too many times. Like his owner had grown tired of him. "Trick, I'm so sorry." Andy said, rushing over to him and wrapping him in a hug. Joe swore again, under his breath, and went and sort of loomed protectively over Patrick while Andy comforted him.

With Andy's arms around him he started crying again, or rather, just cried harder. He wasn't even really aware that it was Andy that was still hugging him, rocking him slowly back and forth. His mind was filled with Pete. And memories of Pete. And of Pete's exit just 15 minutes before and the feeling of his heart just breaking. And he cried harder and Andy hugged him tighter and Joe swore again, louder and with more force and "I'm going to kick his ass."

 

When they get back to Spencer's apartment, Spencer gets out and waits as Pete sits in the car, still staring straight ahead. And Pete's thoughts consist of 'Holy shit, how could I have just done that to Patrick? Sweet, gentle, baby-faced Patrick. Goddamn. Cuddling up to him after a show, after fucking, quiet breathing against Pete's chest. Whispering nonsense and 'I love you's' and promises of 'I'll always be with you.' and he swallows the bile that rises in his throat because he does, he feels sick and he wants to go back to Patrick and let him curl up against him and tell him that it will be okay. And he slowly gets out of the car, his eyes raising to watch Spencer. And Spencer has that same sort of baby-faced or girlish face, the same full-lipped smile and sparkling eyes. And those eyes are watching him closely as he walks right past Spencer and into the apartment and Spencer knows that nothing is alright. That Pete is definitly not alright.

Once Spencer is asleep beside him Pete pulls out his sidekick and stares at it for a minute. Then he writes 'Hey trick, u okay? I still luv u. Shoulda told u sooner.' and as soon as he hits send he wants to take it back, to tell Patrick he was sorry for fucking up their relationship and he didn't know what else to say. 'can we pretend like it never happened?' definitley wasn't an option and then what about Spencer? Pete's head hurt.

When his sidekick buzzed he jumped, having almost dozed off. he flipped it open quickly so it wouldn't wake up Spencer and read the screen. "No hes not fucking alright u fucking moron, this never shldve hppnd u fucking scrwd him up! Gd FUCKING job' and considering the amount of cussing, he assumed it was from Joe. Pete sighed and turned his sidekick off, leaning back to try and go back to sleep.

 

Patrick stared at Joe who had basically ripped his phone from his hands. "What did it say? Was it from Pete?" Patrick asked him.

"No." Joe lied flatly.

"Yes it was. Please give it to me." Patrick said, reaching half-heartedly for his sidekick.

"Wrong number." Joe said and Patrick glared at him.

"Liar." he said, but he sounded defeated and he hung his head, strawberry blonde hair hanging in his face.

Joe sighed and said "Fine it was Pete. He said he still loves you and he should have told you sooner." and as the words left Joe's lips he wished he could just go find Pete and just, punch some sense into him or something. I mean, this is Patrick, their best friend since forever and Pete's boyfriend of two years. TWO FUCKING YEARS. You don't just end something like that like this. He watched as Patrick's face fell further and he let out a whispered "Oh." from his perfect lips.

 

Pete sat on Spencer's couch the next morning, eating cereal with his lyric notebook in front of him, scribbling away and frowning so hard that Spencer thought his face might stay that way. Spencer had practice today with his band and when it was time for him to go he went and stood by Pete for a moment before saying. "hey Pete, I'm leaving for practice." Pete nodded but didn't say anything, still frowning and writing his his lyric book. Spencer had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Eventually Pete stopped writing in his lyric book and closed it, standing up to stretch. He looked at the clock, it was a little past noon. It was awfully quiet in the house, where was Spen- Oh wait, he went to practice didn't he. He pulled his sidekick out of his pocket and turned it on, he had multiple messages but none were from Patrick, not that he expected them to be. He felt restless now, he wanted to go see Patrick but Spencer would be back soon so he headed towards the kitchen to find something for lunch.

About ten minutes later Spencer walked through the front door, looking around and spotting Pete's empty cereal bowl from this morning along with Pete's lyric book. He sighed and picked up the bowl, heading towards the kitchen where Pete was making peanut butter and jelly. He put the bowl in the sink, "Hey Pete." he said, carefully, not cheerful exactly but not like a monotone.

"Hey Spence, practice go well?" Pete asked, finishing his sandwhich and throwing the knife into the sink.

"Yeah, we're practicing some new stuff finally. So it's not so... repetitive. I guess."

"Sounds good." Pete said, fingering the bottom of his t-shirt.

"Yeah..." Spencer said and they lapsed into an awkward silence, Pete's sandwhich forgotten on the counter.

 

Joe and Andy convinced, okay, drug Patrick out of the house for lunch that day. They were sitting in a booth, drinking milkshakes, okay so Andy's wasn't real milk but it still counts, after eating lunch. No one was really talking and Joe and Andy kept glancing at Patrick and then at each other, concern written on their faces.

"Would it help to talk to Pete?" Andy asked him. Joe looked at Andy like he had gone out of his fucking mind or something but Andy ignored him.

"Maybe. Probably not. Do you think him and Spencer are going to last? I mean, how can he just- just move on like that?" Patrick asked, voice quiet at the beginning but slowly rising until by the end he was sort of yelling, face more angry than anything and people were staring at them.

"I- I don't really know Patrick, Pete is... unpredictable." Andy said hesitantly, looking over at Joe who looked really suprised and was staring at Patrick sort of taken aback.

"Yeah..." Patrick said, calming down a little bit, his voice quiet and he looked like he might cry again as he fumbled with the straw in his milkshake.

 

They haven't spoken in two weeks, since Pete broke up with Patrick. When one day Patrick comes home and Pete is sitting on his couch. Patrick sort of just stares at him, mouth slightly ajar. "Pete what-"

"I broke up with Spencer. He understood, didn't make a big deal out of it. I need you Patrick." and his voice is desperate, his eyes pleading. "I don't know if you can forgive me but I'm so sorry. Patrick, I'm so FUCKING sorry and-" but Pete doesn't finish before Patrick is straddling him, pushing him back into the couch, pressing his lips to Pete's hot, wet and needy.

"If your asking me to take you back, is this answer enough?" Patrick asks as he kisses along Pete's jaw and down his neck, running his hands up under Pete's t-shirt and along the waist line of his pants, causing Pete to groan and buck his hips up under Patrick.

Pete can barely form coherent thoughts and he struggles to remember Patrick's question. "Ye- Yes." he says breathy and fuck, how could he have left Patrick, left THIS? But none of that seems important right now, to either of them as Patrick smiles against Pete's lips. Pete moves to undo Patrick's pants and after they're spent they lay in each other's arms, Pete idly running his hands over Patrick's side as they lay facing each other.

"Do you remember when I promised I would always be with you, always be there for you?" Pete asks and Patrick nods so he continues, "I'm sorry I broke that - doing something stupid like that, I don't know what I was thinking." Pete says but Patrick is shaking his head.

"Your here now and you better be here now and fucking forever. And if you can promise that the your mostly forgiven for being a stupid jack ass." Patrick says, trying not to let the light lift at the corner of his mouth to portray what he's truly feeling, elation at having Pete back.

Pete looks back at him, seriously. "I don't think I am ever going to leave your side again let alone you. I think I can definitely keep that promise."

"Kiss to seal it." Patrick says, still trying to be as serious as possible.

Pete does this weird giggle thing since his giggle isn't really a giggle and it's always sort of loud but still really cute and says "My pleasure, Patrick, my pleasure." and presses his lips tenderly to Patrick's.

Patrick sighs and let's out a breathy "I love you." and Pete strokes the soft side of Patrick's face, watching his eyes flutter shut and he whispers. "I love you to 'trick, I love you too."

Tags: first slash, patrick/pete, petrick, spencer/pete, when the world is crashing down
Current Location: In A Chair
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Everything We Had - TAI